In a blow to nihilists everywhere, the massive Swiss $8 billion particular accelerator went online last Wednesday without sparking atomic reactions, earthquakes or the occasional black hole:
“I wasn’t worried,” said Robert Thompson, a professor of popular culture at Syracuse University. “If this were happening on an episode of ‘The X-Files’ or a new Pixar movie or any Hollywood movie with a budget of over $100 million, then I’d be worried. But it wasn’t. It was happening in real life.”
He paused, then said, “But I’m no physicist, either.”
In related news, experts say the new artificial intelligence defense project, Skynet, is nothing much to worry about.
And for the realtime updates, check Has the Large Hadron Collider destroyed the earth yet?
